Sunday, January 15, 2012

There ARE stupid questions.

Who ever coined the phrases "There are no stupid questions," and "The only stupid question is an unasked question," were dead wrong. If I could charge a fee for every stupid question I've been asked, I would probably own a summer home in the topics right now. 

In the interest of time and my not getting carpal tunnel by over-typing, I won't list them all. But I will take the time to publicly answer some of the FAQs that'd prefer to never answer again. 

Some of you may know that I have two moms. My mom is gay. She told me she was gay when I was in 5th grade. This is neither new, nor strange to me, though usually when people hear that for the first time they look at me sympathetically. Gay isn't a disease, you guys. But this is Utah, and Utah is in denial about gay people existing, despite the fact that Salt Lake City was recently declared to be "The Gayest City" in the United States per capita. So, this is the basis for a lot of stupid questions people ask me.

FAQ on Having Power Lesbians for Moms

Q: Were you artificially created?
A: I assume this question is asking whether my mother's eggs were fertilized through in-vitro fertilization, and not whether or not I was made out of play dough and brought to life by magic. No, I was conceived the old fashioned way. I have a father that shares my blood and last name. His name is Larry. He's a pretty funny guy, and he's got a lot of talents. I have his face shape, nose, freckles, and large knuckles. My mom and dad were married from when I was one until I was six. 

Q: Did your mom become gay because your dad was a jerk?
A: Even though that is more a question for her, I'm going to go ahead and answer: NO. Being gay is no more a choice than being straight. Every person has natural attractions. Some people are naturally attracted to the opposite sex, and some to the same sex. It's really simple. You can't just "become" or "turn" gay, it's kind of built in. Someone could get into a terrible car accident (God forbid) and become paralyzed, but as far as I know, there isn't an event that can subsequently change your sexual orientation.

Q: Does your mom want you to be gay?/Is your mom sad that you aren't gay?
A: What? Of course not! My mom wants me to be whatever I want to be. Anything that is going to provide me with happiness and joy, my mom wants for me. Whether that mean that I'm a straight astronaut ballerina animal rights activist, or a gay chef that hosts a talk show about overweight children. She's my mom, she's going to support me no matter what.

Q: Are you scared you are/going to grow up to be gay?
A: I do not see that as something to be afraid of. Whatever I am, I'm not afraid of it. At this point in my life I feel confident that I've got my sexual orientation figured out, but if I was unsure, I'd be okay with any possibility. 

Q: Which one of your moms is they guy and which is the girl?
A: This question is offensive, and not funny. I don't even usually grant it a response, but I will on this occasion. My mom and her partner, Jenna (whom I've failed to mention thus far, but she's awesome and an ideal parent), are both women. That's kinda the idea. They don't wish they were men, that would not be the same as being gay... Neither of them pretend to be males, or asked to be referred to as men. This is a stupid question that I don't even fully know how to answer.

Q: Did you know your moms are going to hell?
A: Along with all the rest of the gays and gay-loving people? They'll be thrilled.

If I've left out a question that you're curious about, do me a favor and use your common sense and see if you can answer it yourself before you come to me with it. Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm going to roll my eyes so hard that they literally roll out of my head.

Until next time I will be...

-Watching The X Files! I love this show. It is scary and interesting, and so awesomely 90s without being cheesy! 
-Reading texts books since school is back in session.
-And trying to come up with something else to blog about (ideas, suggestions, or requests would be appreciated)



  1. I feel embarrassed for these stupid, horrible people. Please forgive them and grow stronger and smarter than they could ever be. You and your parents are in my prayers. Hopefully, education and wonderful blogs like yours will help these backwards & ignorant people. God bless.

  2. Looking forward to hell! Great blog entry, worthy of being read by lots of people.